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Best Jokes 

Asked in Society & Culture - 832 days ago

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ar_muong
ar_muong
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From Ellen Degeneres: Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

Answered by fairywings at Feb 9, 2010 03:16 PM

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fairywings
fairywings

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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.” (from Germany)

Answered by carriecruz at Feb 9, 2010 03:19 PM

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carriecruz
carriecruz

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I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger)

Answered by pipsquick at Feb 9, 2010 03:22 PM

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pipsquick
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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.  -- The Russians used a pencil.

Answered by harriedhouse... at Feb 9, 2010 03:31 PM

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harriedhousewife
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From the UK: Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

Answered by alicewatson at Feb 9, 2010 03:36 PM

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